Crossroads

I'm at a crossroads in my life and I can't even see clearly the paths in front of me. I see what I could do, what I could be but I can't see how to get to the end. There are too many options, too many possibilities, too many sights unseen and too many things left undecided. I'm at a crossroads and I don't even really truly know what my options are and so I'm lost, dazed, confused, and left grasping at straws with my heart aching in my chest.

There are so many choices. Choices that we think are good, choices that we think were initially bad but turn out to be good, choices that end up changing our life forever for better or for worse. Choices that we don't even know are choices until they're upon us and we have to make a quick, sometimes drastic, decision. Then there are those you know you're supposed to make for whatever reason that drives you but they don't actually make you happy so you wonder why you bother but you can't think of a logical reason why not - but you neglect to realize that the fact that you even wonder why bother is reason enough.

Sometimes... sometimes you have to go with the flow and trust that the flow will lead you somewhere where you want to be or need to be, whether you know it or not. If you try to control the flow, you usually end up hurting things that you didn't mean to and make life miserable. So just... go with flow. Go with it and when you need to make a decision, the paths will be clear. Or at least, hopefully clearer than it is with me right now. Because I know they're there. I know they're there, lingering and hovering, waiting for the right moment to strike and cripple me or perhaps finally give me the wings I need. We'll see.

Right now I just know I'm at a crossroads and I just want to find the paths...