Laughter: The Best Medicine

Even now, I miss Grams every day. I may not always think about her specifically but something will catch me and a pang will sweep through my heart and leave me breathless for a moment. Today, while going through some of her things, I was swept up anew by feelings of grief and remorse, of not knowing her better and writing down her stories, her life, when I was able because what a life she led. The things she left behind are a small testament to the women she was.

While going through a box of things that had already been neatly piled together, I came across a few well creased pieces of notebook paper that hold little bits of laughter from, I'm assuming, a friend of hers. So I'm going to share them with you now in hopes that if you're having a bad day that this will lighten your mood some.

" Once upon a time, there was a nonconforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However, soon the weather turned so cold that h reluctantly started to fly south. In a short time ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in a barnyard, almost frozen. A cow passed by and crapped on the little sparrow. The sparrow thought it was the end. But, the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy, able to breathe, he started to sing. Just then, a large cat came by and hearing the chirping, investigated the sounds. The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird and promptly ate him.

The moral of the story:

1. Everyone who shits on you is not necessarily your enemy.
2. Everyone who gets you out of the shit is not necessarily your friend.
3. And, if you're warm and happy in a pile of shit, keep your mouth shut."

" I woke one early morning

The earth lay cool and still

When suddenly a tiny bird

Perched on my window sill.

So care free and so gay

That slowly all my troubles

Began to slip away.

It seemed it's very trilling

Brought up the morning sun

I stirred beneath the covers

Crept softly out of bed

And slowly lowered the window

And crushed it's fucking head!"

For the record, I don't condone violence to birds, I just found it so shocking it was hilarious.

And lastly, the best and the longest...

"TO ALL EMPLOYEES

It has been brought to my attention that the attendance record of this institution is a disgrace. It has become necessary to revise some of our policies.

The following changes are in effect as of today:

Sickness: No Excuse: We will no longer accept your doctor's statement as proof, as we believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Death (Other Than Your Own): This is no excuse. There is nothing you can do for them, and we are sure that someone else with a lesser position can attend to the arrangements. However, if the funeral can be held in the late afternoon, we will be glad to let you off one hour early, provided that your share of the work is ahead enough to keep the job going in your absence.

Leave of Absence (For An Operation): We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage any thoughts that you may need an operation, as we believe that as long as you are an employee here, you will need all of whatever you have and you should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are and to have anything removed would make you less than we bargained for.

Death (Your Own): This will be accept as an excuse. But, we would like to have a two week notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone else your job.

Also, entirely too much time is being spent in the rest rooms. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, those whose names begin with -A- will go from 9:00 A.M. to 9:15 A.M., -B- will go from 9:15 A.M. to 9:30 A.M., and so on. If you are unable to go at your time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your time comes again.

Thank you -

The Management"

Gotta love old ladies with a sense of humor.